*I hope this makes some kind of sense to those of who are reading this post. I feel like Emmerdale’s current prison storyline with Aaron having to face homophobia is about so much more than the petty complaints that are taking up my timeline on Twitter. All I ask is that you read this with an open mind; these are my opinions on the topic, that I felt needed to be shared. There is no need to buy into what I am saying. If anything let it be something that makes you look at all of this in a different way. **
The all-encompassing theme on social media in relation to Robron on Emmerdale is anger at the show for giving one of its most beloved characters the plight of a lifetime, prison homophobia. An emotion, I believe could be misplaced. I think we need to ask ourselves; what is it that we are really angry at. Are we angry that Aaron got sent to prison for beating someone up? Or are we upset at the fact that in 2017 the issue of homophobia has to be addressed in an increasingly startling way? My answer would certainly be the latter of the two because I know more than anything what pisses me off about this SL is that in society today homophobia is still rampant. Every single day in countries around the world people is being persecuted for living their truths. Getting fired up about a TV character then failing to do anything about the real situations that are going on means, that stories like this one are still important to tell. People will still turn a blind eye to what is happening right in front of their faces. Naturally, ED chose Aaron because he is that character that nearly everyone who loves ED can get behind and support. In him, we see our own lives, our family members, friends, the person on the street we don’t even know; who we feel compelled to help because it is the right thing to do! That is what ED is doing by giving us this spectacularly written, acted, and directed story; the desire and compassion to finally rise up and do something about it. I am sure all of you are aware of what is happening in the world right now, particularly in regards to reversing the rights of LGBT people, forcing Trans persons to use certain restrooms, court trials because a same-sex couple wants a cake at their wedding and the hatred that is getting spewed from our leadership that makes hurting those you do not like acceptable. These concepts apply to any place in the world, no matter if you live in America, Europe, Asia, or the Middle East, if you think that this doesn’t affect someone you love, please think again.
Don’t get me wrong, I agree with those who feel as though Aaron has been through enough and deserves to live happily with his new husband Robert. The fact is, in real life, people live some of the most horrific realities imaginable, similar and worse than what we are seeing Aaron go through right now. I have no reservations about saying this SL is incredibly difficult to watch, by all rights it should be, which is the entire point of showing this harrowing story. Seeing a person you care about, real or no, is one of the worst things imaginable to witness. No doubt we are all experiencing some sort of anger, sadness, frustration, etc.…over seeing something as vile as homophobia be played out before our eyes. People do experience this in their everyday lives, not just in prisons but out in society, in their homes, and on social media; where anonymity can lead a person to end their lives. I know from speaking with many of you that you feel a certain amount of anxiety about the SL, I do as well. My anxiety, in fact, comes from years of internalized homophobia/biphobia and having a notoriously conservative family who doesn’t shy away from letting me know just how they feel about same-sex couples. I have been lucky enough to have people stand up for me and come to my rescue when I needed them the most, many do not have those opportunities for protection. They are left to fight for themselves in situations that take every bit of your energy and confidence to get through.
My challenge to you is instead of continuously complaining about your social media account about the injustices a TV character is going through, why don’t you stand up and do something about it. In the real world, the here and now! Rise and fight for a cause that obviously makes you angry enough to take it to social media, why not take it one step further; if you see something happen, step in and do something about it, forget the bystander effect and be the person who does something. You may be that difference between someone losing or keeping their lives. Grant it I know there isn’t a whole lot any of us can do to change the attitudes towards gay men in prisons but we can certainly start by showing that it isn’t something that is tolerated in everyday society either. You never know how far your actions may reach or the difference that it can make across the world. So why not take the chance and speak out.
Something that struck me recently, was this quote from How We Rise, a show that goes into the incredibly harrowing story of the gay liberation movement in America, “How does it feel to be a part of the first generation without a purpose? And what are you going to do about it?” This statement, while in the show was pointed at a young man from the millennial generation, holds implications for all of us who are wondering what are we to do about the injustices in the world, when we weren’t there to see the rise of the fight. This is your chance to find that purpose that I know many of us are trying to find in our lives. We may not have been there to start the liberation movement, women’s suffrage, or the fight to end slavery; that doesn’t mean we can’t still join the fight and carry on where other left off. We have the amazing gift of living in a world where we can use our voices to make real, effective change, quickly. We have already seen it happen in recent months with the Women’s March that ended up becoming a worldwide movement. We can still make a difference in the world by speaking out, instead of reverting to complaining on Twitter. Aaron’s story deserves more than that and so do the countless other real-life stories. Put yourself in the shoes of those who have come before or lived these circumstances, what would you do if something like this happened to you? I will never know what it is like to be a gay man in prison, who gets beat up daily but it doesn’t mean that I still don’t hold compassion for them in my heart. Or that if anyone ever needed me to stand up for them that I would abandon them, it isn’t in m nature to fly away from a cause that easily.
For the sake of everyone’s sanity here, remember that we don’t know what is going to happen down the road for Aaron and Robert. The only thing we know for sure is that they have a bright future together, which should be comfortable enough to keep us going. If that doesn’t help, remember ED just went to great lengths to brand Robron as a major part of its show, with their recent wedding episode. The suspense behind figuring out how long they will have to deal with their current plight doesn’t make any of this better, but threatening to boycott Emmerdale because of it crosses a line into pettiness and it isn’t pretty. This isn’t the same thing as taking a break from the show due to the violent nature or triggers that can occur because of what is being shown, that is different. I genuinely feel that Emmerdale will only carry this as far as they need to for the sake of the story and not cross any boundaries that would lump sadness on Aaron for the sake of sadness and plot. They have seen how the telling of these stories can help those in the world who have lived them, a theme that I am almost positive they want to keep. Helping others has gotten them all sorts of positive recognition and that is much more important than ratings, at least in my eyes.
In regards to the spoilers that just came out for Week 11, with Robert fearing the worst, hearing the truth, and turning to the bottle; all we have to go on is speculation as to how far Robert will go down the rabbit hole. Many people in this fandom have the tendency to accept things at face value and as fact when in reality the only time we know for sure what happens is when the episode airs. I think Ryan has made it incredibly clear that Bex and Robert are just friends and that he feels nothing for her. It has been repeatedly shown in their scenes. I don’t buy for one second the idea that Robert will cheat on Aaron, purposefully or otherwise. If by chance it leads that way then there is a huge amount of context we are missing! There have been so many speculations about if they kiss, or if their lips touch, will they sleep together. It’s no wonder all of us are anxious, we are creating hugely fantastic stories in our minds before anything has even happened on our screens. My advice would be to let it go as much as you can for now and let it play out. There is still so much context we need to find out any specific actions by the characters. This all could go so much better than we have imagined, let’s pray that it does at least. All of the misery and speculation on Twitter makes watching much more worrisome, ultimately making the show harder to enjoy, and its message may become lost to fans. Stick with it, Emmerdale will be sure to give us what we want in the end and that is Robert and Aaron together, living an authentically portrayed life.
To end a very long post, I hope I made my point effectively, if not I do apologize. I just believe the complaining needs to be dramatically less and the focus on the bigger picture more.
My thoughts now on this past year and Robron:
Aaron is one of those people who is a sad soul, he has the unfortunate plight of dealing with a life of really crappy hands that never seem to go away. However, because of that he values happiness so much more, works hard for what he loves, and understands the pain others feel. The prison story was one more thing Aaron had to rise above and survive if Aaron Dingle is anything in this world, he is one of the strongest people who has had to deal with unimaginable pain. And despite that, because of actually, he has risen above to show the world that nothing will break him. I feel the same about Robert and the life he had to endure growing up, especially dealing with feelings of being worthless and unloved.
Thankfully the prison story didn’t last as long as it could have, it was definitely one of the hardest decisions I have seen in many years. It is true Robert ended up royally messing up his marriage but Aaron wasn’t altogether innocent in that either, something he recently admitted during the much-anticipated reunion episode. Neither Aaron or Robert were in any kind of position to promise themselves to the other in a ceremony, their relationship, while strong, was built on all the past circumstances that led them to each other in the first place. Don’t get me wrong I thought the wedding was beautiful and laid the foundation for the new relationship we see now but it was never going to fix the problems they already had. Aaron was not in a healthy frame of mind, after having just dealt with the rape trial, the crash, and his sister; it is no wonder his mind was taken over by paranoia. Robert still obsessed with wanting to handle and control everything was bound to do what he did with Bex (and any other ex for that matter whether they be male or female) for no other reason than to prove to himself that he still had control. I think what happened on the show in terms of storylines and consequences was to be expected, the emotional toll it took not only on the characters but the audience as well as one that will bite for many more months to come. I think the important question to ask is what does this say about ideologies in the makeup of a good relationship? And was what Robron went through really necessary?
I think the answer to those questions is simple; our ideas and concepts about relationships are far too often laden in something that is artificial, a stature that can’t possibly be achieved. Real life is messy, full of heartache and joy, life rarely fits into a nice package complete with a pretty bow. That is why I think Robron in all of their faults is one of the most important couples on television today. They are both flawed people, the only difference now is they are both very willing to admit it and accept it of the other, in ways they weren’t before. Everything that happened this past year changed Aaron and Robert, forever, and for the good. As a viewer, I wouldn’t have been satisfied had certain things not been addressed such as Aaron’s misunderstanding of bisexuality or Robert’s hatred for himself that he takes out on others. I won’t lie there were times when I questioned what exactly the show was planning to do to my favorite couple but in sticking with it, I noticed that it had to be this way. Sure, there are some things I would have changed and maybe done a bit differently but their marriage had to end for no other reason than for their relationship to begin. I know that my opinion isn’t popular among many in the fandom but I’ve spent a lot of time sitting back quietly listening and watching what was going on. The more I did that the more I realized that this past year sucked but it was necessary.
My thoughts on Jason haven’t changed much, I still feel he is vitally important to the narrative of what many in the LGBTQIA community go through by living their lives. What matters to me now is what they do with the narrative, I would like to see Jason come back but I want growth to happen. I think a more important story to tell in 2018 is one of acceptance. I know there is a long road before Jason would reach acceptance of an LGBTQIA individual but it is possible. I have seen many instances where people who were homophobic and more, changed their views by opening their hearts and minds. Homophobia still exists, we are a long way from wiping it out completely, but there isn’t a rule that states once a homophobe always a homophobe. Showing that change and that progression of a person so rooted in violence would do wonders for not only the LGBTQIA community but the straight community as well. Samuel Cook was amazing at playing such a dark and treacherous character, so much so that it forced me to face many of my own demons and homophobic family members. Storylines like that don’t come along every day, it was hell to get through but in the end it was worth watching.
It is abundantly clear that Aaron and Robert belong with one another, the only place they feel safe is with the other. A love like that doesn’t come often but when it does, wow, it changes the world.
Everyone who was a part of the storylines this past year was brilliant, they shined bright in their ultra honest portrayal.
Be Well!
Kyla (@kgift10)
Mindful Meanderings 